Is nothing sacred?

wedding ringI ask you to forgive me for this post as I’m completely heart-broken right now. I am deeply saddened by the state of marriage in our country. This is not the rant of some right-winged nutjob, just a single lady who wonders if marriage is even a desired goal any more? I’ve attended my share of weddings in my short 31 years tomorrow of life. I’ve been there for the joys of a new relationship, the heat of marriage, the birth of children and sadly the demise of a family. It is devastating and the numbers are are not going in the right direction.

I’m a black woman and if you read statistics at all you know that I’m part of the group least likely to get married. My friends and I talk about it all the time. I know there are awesome men out there but we have a lot working against us. There are men who have decided they don’t want to settle down, men who have already settled down, men who aren’t sure which gender they want to settle down with, men who are unavailable to settle down and men who aren’t ready to settle down. The odds are not stacked in our favor. And the more I see marriage after marriage end in divorce, the more I wonder if I want to rush down that aisle. No marriage is without problems; marriage is work. Hell, if it weren’t work everyone would be married right? But how do you overcome the problem of people just not placing any value in keeping their family together?

I come from a “broken” home and I would not wish the realities of that life on anyone, yet millions of our children live it out everyday. And all because their parents are too selfish to be bothered honoring the vows they made to God? Maybe that’s the problem. They don’t have a relationship with God and therefore the vows have no meaning? I don’t know the answer, but I know that my heart aches for the lost relationships, broken families and blatant disregard for something that should be sacred in our society but isn’t.

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